There is so much stigma surrounding masturbation and I really don't understand why. General perceptions of masturbation tend to spin it as impulsive, immature and unhealthy, but this couldn't be further from the truth. Today we will look at the psychological and physical benefits of masturbation, and why you ought to screw off more often.
In my life, I have met many people who have insecurities regarding masturbation. Some people believe it's not good for mental wellness or could destroy relationships, but this form of self-exploration is an important part of the human experience.
Can masturbation cause mental issues? Psychologist Michael Castleman suggests that the primary issue with masturbation is the needless guilt people feel for it. If you were raised in a home similar to mine, then your parents may have told you that masturbation is perverted, unnatural, or sinful. However, every sexuality expert will agree that masturbation is a normal and healthy act and does not inherently cause any physical or mental issues.
Let me clarify though, that sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. If your desire to masturbate is obsessive or causes you to make poor decisions in the heat of the moment, it would be good to talk to a therapist so that it doesn't interfere with your life or relationships.
Another thing I've noticed is that a lot of people feel disrespected when their partner masturbates. They feel insecure about not being good enough for their partner, but the desire to masturbate usually has little to do with the quality of a person's relationship. It's important to remember that if you respect your partner, you will also respect their bodily autonomy and the decision to masturbation or not. There's no predetermined amount of orgasms a person will experience in their life so don't worry, you'll have plenty of chances for intimacy with your partners even if they like to masturbate regularly.
According to Castleman, masturbation is our original sexuality.
"It’s one of the first ways children learn to experience physical pleasure. Kids stop masturbating (or do it in secret) largely because the adults in their lives make them feel ashamed of it."
Because our sexuality is such an intrinsic part of our identity, the shame associated with masturbation can be carried into adulthood and lead to intimacy issues and insecurity in relationships. Masturbation is not cheating. Have candid discussions with your partners about what masturbation means to you in order to establish healthy, intimate communication. If you do find yourself in a tough spot because you'd rather masturbate than be intimate with your partner, that's another good reason to chat with a therapist.
Sex and masturbation do not have to replace one another — in fact, they go hand-in-hand. When we masturbate, we learn the nuances of our own genital pleasure and the willingness to tell your partner what works for you is likely to improve your sex.
As far as physical benefits of self-touch, there are many. Research shows that masturbation can:
release sexual tension
reduce stress
help you sleep better
improve your self-esteem and body image
help treat sexual problems
relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas
Last but not least, I'd like to point out that masturbation is the truest form of safe sex. Not only do you get all the perks of cumming, but you also have ZERO risks of unwanted pregnancy or STIs. You can even masturbate WITH your partner. How's that for having your cake and eating it, too?
References:
Herbenick, D. et al. “Sexual Behavior in the United States: Results from a National Probability Sample of Men and Women Ages 145-94,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2010) 7(Suppl 5):255.
Masturbation — Get the Facts, Planned Parenthood.
7 Myths About Masturbation and the Truth About Solo Sex - Michael Castleman, M.A.